lying

when i say i don't
i think i might do
is not that i'm lying
but i didn't know the truth

when i look outside the window
life become a steady dead picture
when i look at our album
the pictures become alive

i'm not smiling
neither am i crying
when my heart feel a pitch of pain
my mind is still deciding

fighting or letting go
the process still feel so slow
watching the once bloomed flowers
fall on the river surface and went with the flow

When silent is killing me softly
did anger consume your love?
Did you feel any bit of irritation
if yes both of us lose

I'm the one alone
hence i'm the one feeling the lost
it prove to me that i always right all along
In relationship, i never gotten strong.

still hesitating when i know that this blog is already announced dead
"The minute people fall in love, they become liars"---Harlan Ellison
I was born to lie

i need to

i should have done this when we are still close
i should have done this when our bond is at the peak

one cut is all it take to collide
like an avalanche, i never can imagine it being rebuild
when you look at me
will it trigger that hatred
would it be better to hide from you whenever i can?

i lost my sleep for few nights
and i know it serves me right
is all just a phone call away
what standing between is my fear

you couldn't have love me better
matter of fact you are the one that never cut me
sitting here thinking of what i done
i never know better
i'm not good as a friend or what so ever

i guess i'm selfish all along
taking granted for what i hold on
never know when i let go
it slips like it should and is told

is a tribute that i never dare to admit
till now i whether should i write your name
forgive me for having less faith
i never have confident in my existence

all i know is,
i told you are an angel before
and i'm sorry
from the core
i don't know what is all this for
love...is always like a battlefield
and..i guess is worth a fight
and a scar
sorry